Monday, February 23, 2009

The Return of the Welfare Mother

Remember the "Welfare Mother?" I was pretty young when she lived. She had babies, lots of babies, a never-ending string of babies, just so she could collect welfare checks and blow all that taxpayer money on Twinkies and lottery tickets and then wash it all down with a tall boy of Olde English.

And, of course, she was black.

Man, we HATED her.

And she didn't even exist. No, she was cooked up by those among us who wanted the American public to believe that their hard-earned money was wasted on folks like her even though the vast majority of welfare dollars went to a white male who hated taking even one penny.

I'm happy those days are gone and we no longer believe in mythical creations from the paranoid minds of conservative America that fill our hearts with hate.

But I spoke too soon. A new Chimera has soared into the American consciousness and this beast also is intent on robbing hard-working Americans of their money in an elaborate ruse involving the Stimulus Package.

I can't tell you how many people, friends of mine, are convinced that the government has been handing out checks to people who bought homes they couldn't afford. Really, even though not one cent has gone anywhere but into the coffers of big banks, people think that the government is handing out checks to a new breed of layabouts, the new Welfare Mothers.

Where do they get this stuff?

Folks, it hasn't happened.

Those momentary homeowners are now renters. They have walked away from those houses, already, never to return. They took their Little Tykes picnic tables and found a rental downtown leaving a trail of foreclosure notices fluttering in their wake.

Sure, there are people who are still making payments on their homes but the idea that there are all these paupers who bought homes on the Malibu coast and are now going to stay there thanks to the Government is ridiculous.

But, still my freinds go on about "personal responsibility" and how "these people" should have known they couldn't afford this house or that house and "what were they thinking, anyway?"

I don't want to let anyone off the hook but, actually, let's talk about the hook. Sure, the guy who signed the paperwork on the house and agreed to the terms of the loan screwed up. So what? The most he can do now is say, "My bad." He hasn't got any money. He's out of work, now, or close to it.

What can he do?

He walks away.

"My bad."

Now what? In the old days, the bank took the house and sold it, licketty split, and broke even on the deal.

But that was the old days and the property isn't worth nearly what the assessed value was and now the bank is "upside-down" on the house.

So, we hate that guy, that irresponsible guy, who walked away from the house.

But who's fault is it, anyway. Would you have loaned him the money? And if the bank is stuck with the house that isn't worth what the very same bank said it was worth in the first place, it question is moot. Even if it were entirely the buyer's fault, he doesn't have to deal with it. He can walk away. The bank can't. The assumption that the mortgage could be sold up the chain to Wall Street was as false as the Welfare Mother.

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